Once upon a time I was a boy named Michael. I sat at home drawing pictures all day. My parents' marriage wasn't doing so well and they soon divorced. The day that my father left he picked me up and said, "You are the man of the house now, and you have to protect your mom and your sisters. So that night I put a kitchen knife under my pillow in case anyone broke in."

My family cried all the time. That's the first time I can remember a feeling of hate for life and love arising in me. I knew that if I lost faith in love at such a young age I would be lost forever. Eight years old and I already wanted out of my life.

The pain of my parents divorce was a sort of hell I lived in, but then, one night, I had a dream that an Angel came to save me. To my surprise she told me that I was saving her.

I decided I would not let myself lose all the love I had inside to give. I would find someone to love and show them how great love could really be and prove all disbelievers wrong.

Life moved on and I soon became a teen. My friends all talked about how they wanted to fuck a lot of girls. Not that I didn't want sex as much as the next guy, but I wanted to be in love with the girl more than I wanted sex. I was considered the "nice guy," and you know the rule, nice guys finish last. With my kind heart and supreme knack for attracting the worst women possible, I found myself being cheated on by every girl I fell in love with over, and over, and over again.

The final straw came from a girl named Angel, who was the furthest thing from one. We had plans to spend Valentine's day together when she got off work at eight o'clock that night. Eight rolled around and she didn't call. Then nine, ten, and eleven o'clock, then, finally, at midnight I paged her. She called back an hour and a half later and said she'll meet me in a few minutes. Before she hung up the phone I heard a man's voice in the background say, "What's his problem?"

" I don't know, he just keeps calling me and bugging me," she replied.

It broke my heart to hear that. She wasn't my girlfriend, but it devastated me just the same.

I wanted to escape this feeling, so I dropped a few hits of acid and drove off to be alone. After the lifetime of approximately one hour of sitting in the back seat sketching, I came to a realization: LOVE is EVOL; it is a horrible thing. When I thought about it, all of the bad things in this world come from misplaced love or a lack of love where it is needed. Divorce, heartbreak, war, famine, envy, greed, suicide: they're all byproducts of love.

Immediately my thoughts went to the one responsible, the one in control of hearts, the one with the burden of dispensing love to the right people at the right time -- Qupid.

Because of all of his careless arrows and mischievousness, the entire world is suffering and will continue to suffer until someone does something about it, someone who cares enough about the world to save them from this pain, a hero willing to sacrifice their own life to stop Qupid's arrow. Someone like me who understands the pain of heartbreak. I will do it! I'll be the one to free the world from the shackles of love. I will kill Qupid.

I know, to everyone else, thinking like this was insane, but to me it was sheer genius!!! (And maybe a tad narcissistic.) Then in the middle of my excitement I felt I was being watched. I turned around to see none other than Qupid himself outside of my window watching me.

FUCK HIM!

I threw open my car door hard, knocking him over onto the ground.

"Wait!" he yelled. But it was too late the time for reasoning was over; I was blind with hate. Killing him was all I could see. We fought long and hard. He had the body of a teenage girl, but the strength of three men. I swung with my knife and grazed his chest. He countered with an arrow across the bridge of my nose. I fell next to my front fender. I knew since I was cut with his arrow I would fall in love with the first thing I saw. So I immediately grabbed onto my bumper, opened my eyes and starred at my car. As Qupid flew away the affects of his arrow set in. I started falling in love with my car. I was still angry that he got away, but felt lucky that I was in love with a beautiful car who loved me back.

The next day I devised a plan to follow Qupid's troops back to Loveland after they attack during Valentine's Day. But I needed protection. I sketched out a suit that was lined with hay to stop any arrows from penetrating my skin. Under that I would wear a bullet proof vest for any love gun bullets headed my way. I spent the next three months sewing and cutting until finally I was done -- I had a Qupid proof suit. I even made a helmet that looked like the head of a teddy bear that I had when I was a baby. I was ready.

The day came -- February 14th. I put on the suit, looked in the mirror, and saw a hero standing in a field of blue daisies under the sky of a new world -- a portrait of a killer. I asked the beast in the mirror what his name was and he replied, "The same as your's, Michael, except my name is pronounced My-kill." I knew at that moment, together, we would be victorious.

I dropped three hits of acid and headed out of the door hunting for Qupids. It was like a war zone outside. There were Qupids dropping love bombs from the clouds, and bullets, spears, and arrows flying everywhere; people hugging and kissing in the streets -- a sad sight to see. Oh, the massacre! I hid behind a tree until the time was right. When the attack was over I followed a Qupid trooper into a bathroom at the back of a bar. As I ran through the bar in my suit people glared as if I was some crazy crack-head in a bear suit. It didn't matter to me; I couldn't lose focus of my goal. The Qupid jumped through the bathroom mirror. Without thinking I threw myself in after him. I landed on a rainbow path that lead to the gates of Loveland. I followed it up and walked in. The Qupids were curious and confused, but happy when they saw me. Slowly more and more of them emerged from the clouds to see the first outside visitor to step through the gates of Loveland. Then just as one flew up to me and handed me a flower, I saw Qupid himself sitting on his thrown. He screamed, "It's him!"

Instantly Mykill took over. He pulled a knife from his honey pot and lodged it deep in the troopers head causing every trooper in Loveland to open fire. A hail storm of arrows and bullets descended on us, but they couldn't stop us. Even our knives were soaked in tears that I had saved in a bucket since my parents divorce, sterilizing any love poison that they delivered. We ran up the steps slicing and chopping Qupids in half. Troopers heads were flying everywhere.

Hurdling and smashing them using their strength in numbers against themselves. It was glorious with each step I took. I felt more alive, more assured that this was my destiny. This was why I was born. My entire life, God was slowly molding me into a hero, a savior. I was unstoppable.

Finally I reached the thrown. The Qupids stopped firing. Everything went dead silent.

He looked smaller since our last encounter. Qupid stepped forward and said, "Why do you hate love?"

"I don't hate love, not the kind of love that comes from people hearts. Like the love that a mother has for her child, or when two people choose to love each other without the meddling of your careless arrows. You don't care who you hit. You don't even take the time to think what will happen to your victims if they are not right for each other. All the broken homes you've caused. All those who never got enough love and ended up on the streets trying to fill the hole in their hearts with drugs and poison. All those who have committed suicide because of your careless aim. The world doesn't need you. We can destroy ourselves on our own without your help."

"Your wrong," Qupid replied. "Before I came, this world was dull and boring. Survival and procreation were all that existed. I made the world more exciting. After me came songs of love and heartbreak, paintings of lovers who were unattainable, and plays of tragedy. Even movies would be mundane if not for me. I delivered inspiration to the people of this earth. I gave their lives purpose. I created a beautiful little drama. Think of me as a muse if you will, for even the art that you create is inspired by love and would be stagnant and unmoving otherwise. Admit it -- admit that you're here because you love me."

I couldn't believe how arrogant he was. But he did have a point; maybe he was right. NO.....fuck that, fuck him!

"I fuckin' hate you!" I screamed as I hurled a knife at his head barely missing him but sticking solid in the headrest of his thrown. He threw a spear at me and I ducked. He was weaker this time and I was much stronger. It was a fight to the death. I would not stop until I was dead, or squeezing the life out of his heart with my bare hands.

Back and forth we continued exchanging blows. He stabbed an arrow into the shoulder of Mykill. I cut his thigh open with my knife. He fell to the ground and pulled a revolver out from behind him, hit me in the chest point blank, knocking me on my back. The vest stopped the bullet, though it still knocked the wind out of me. I could feel my breath leaving me, but before the pain set in, I grabbed my last hatchet and sent it spinning in the air. It landed right between his eyes just before I passed out from the lack of oxygen.

When I came to, Qupid lied there lifeless. Everything was silent once again. I rose to my feet realizing that we had won. I had done the impossible -- I killed Qupid! I grabbed a knife off the floor and straddled Qupid's motionless corpse. With hundreds of Qupid troopers watching, we thrust the knife into his chest, ripped it open, reached in and yanked the heart from his torso. The troopers were so horrified that they just stood there. We had taken the fire out of them. They didn't even try to stop us as I walked down the path covered in blood, victoriously, with their father's heart in my hand.

...to be continued.

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